


Jumping to Conclusions

by Joyful



Category: Glee
Genre: Community: glee_fluff_meme, Crack, Fluff, Gambling, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-03-21
Updated: 2011-03-21
Packaged: 2017-10-17 04:52:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,227
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/173092
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Joyful/pseuds/Joyful
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kurt pulls a muscle and is 'walking funny' at glee practice, causing people to draw some interesting conclusions.  Blaine can't understand why people keep congratulating him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Jumping to Conclusions

**Author's Note:**

> For this prompt on the fluff meme: http://community.livejournal.com/glee_fluff_meme/4585.html?thread=4680425#t4680425  
> Total crack and fluff and insanity!

“What's with the limp?” Finn asks Kurt over breakfast.

“Pulled a muscle doing high kicks at Cheerios,” Kurt says, making a face.

“You gonna be able to do the choreography in glee?”

“Of course. I've danced with more injuries than a pulled muscle,” Kurt says, sipping at his coffee.

“Cool,” Finn says. “I mean, not cool that you've been, like, injured and stuff but cool that, like, you can dance anyway—oh, never mind, you know what I mean.”

“I do,” Kurt confirms, laughing at his stepbrother anyway. They finish their breakfast and head off to school

*****

The first indication Blaine has that something weird is going on, is when Noah Puckerman mock punches him in the arm in the hallway.

“Nice going, Anderson! Didn't know a hobbit like you had it in him,” Puck grins lecherously at Blaine.

“Um, thanks?” is all Blaine can think of to say. That seems to be enough, because Puck is holding out his fist for a fist-bump, which Blaine returns awkwardly.

That was the first indication. The second, third, and forth indications are when three jocks Blaine has never even spoken to before give him similar compliments. It takes Blaine a while to figure out that people are congratulating him for something. He's just not sure what he's done to impress people. But this is McKinley, so the standards for accomplishment aren't that high.

When he gets to lunch, he sits at his normal table with Santana, Tina, Lauren and Rachel. Santana's grinning at him when he sits down.

“We saw Kurt earlier,” Tina says, giggling a little. “He looks...interesting today.”

“Have you? I saw him during English. That jacket he's wearing today is fabulous, isn't it?” Blaine asks, certain that the stupid, love-struck expression he gets when he thinks about Kurt has settled on his face again.

“I'm jealous, hobbit,” Santana says. “I've been wanting to tap that ass since sophomore year.”

Blaine frowns as the conversation moves to sex. Weren't they just just talking about Kurt's amazing ability to look awesome and individual even while wearing his Cheerios uniform?

“Santana, I regret to inform you that you're unfortunately lacking the necessary equipment to tap anything,” Rachel said.

“Berry, that's what strap-ons are for,” Lauren interjects.

And Blaine is even more confused than ever because when did they start talking about sex? But before he has the chance to say anything Azimio Adams walks by and Blaine braces himself for the usual, 'Hey ladies,' that the other boy throws his way. But instead, Azimio doesn't say anything. He just nods at Blaine and walks by and Blaine continues to be confused, but as least he has glee later and he can dance with Kurt. Blaine tries to tune back into the conversation, but realizes the girls are talking about sex toys, which, while helpful and informative and pleasant, isn't the best topic of conversation for lunch time, so he tunes them out again and focuses on his food.

*****

Blaine is ecstatic when Kurt grabs him during free period for a quick snog in the janitor's closet. Kurt is so lovely and wonderful, and Blaine's brain does the mental happy dance it does every time he remembers that Kurt is his.

“Have people been making weird comments to you all day?” Kurt asks after their make-out session.

“Yeah, people keep congratulating me, and I'm not sure what for,” Blaine said. “You to?”

“Kinda, though I'm also getting wolf whistles. From the jocks. And the Cheerios. Which is really weird,” Kurt says. “Do you think it's a new bullying technique or something?”

“I don't know, but we should get to Glee,” Blaine says. They hold hands as they walk down the hall. They're about to burst right into the choir room when they realize there are people in there talking, and they're talking about _them_.

“So, who had Kurt catching in the betting pool?” Lauren asked.

“Everyone had Kurt catching,” Puck answered. “There's no way Princess is the pitcher.”

“I didn't!” Tina protests. “I pegged Blaine for the bottom.”

“Hehe, pregged Blaine for the bottom,” Santana cackles, and the girls all laugh.

“I'm still really confused,” Finn says. “Blaine and Kurt don't play baseball. Why is there pitching and catching going on?”

“And this is why you're not in the betting pool, Finnocence,” Santana says.

Outside the choir room Blaine and Kurt are staring at each other. Are their friends betting on their sex life? Seriously?

“Well, who had them losing it in November?” Artie asked.

“Me,” Rachel said. “I knew they'd want to take it slow, but that once the weather began to turn they could resist the allure of warming on another up.”

“You guys are all a bunch of insensitive idiots,” Blaine says as he and Kurt walk into the room.

“Um, sorry?” Brittany says, as they walk into the room.

“Have you guys seriously been betting on our sex life?” Blaine asks.

“Yeah, what else is there to bet on around here?” Puck asks.

“Well, I regret to inform you that none of you have won your stupid bet,” Kurt says.

“Kurt, you wanted us to keep everything discreet,” Blaine says.

“I know, but they're all misinformed! They seem to think we didn't have sex until yesterday, when in reality we've been sleeping together for almost eight months,” Kurt says, drawing himself up tall, and looking at them all with a haughty expression.

“Wait, they're talking about sex?” Finn asks. “I thought we were talking about baseball. If I'd known you guys were talking about _sex_ I could have told you that Kurt and Blaine have been doing it for ages!”

“Why do _you_ know that?” Rachel asks a combination of amusement and horror on her face.

“Because Kurt's bed is on the other side of my wall, and Blaine is loud!” Finn explains, and Blaine blushes, burying his face in Kurt's shoulder.

“Then what's with the limp?” Puck asks. “Anderson get more carried away than usual?”

“No, I pulled a muscle in Cheerios practice. You're wrong on that count too, Puck.”

“Why is my sex life being discussed at length in glee club?” Blaine asked.

“Because our friends are weird and insensitive, and decided to stick us into heteronormative boxes based on the fact that I'm more feminine than you,” Kurt said. “If you don't want them to know the details, I'm perfectly happy allowing them to continue to remain misinformed.”

“No,” Blaine says. “Tina wins her part of the bet, it's only fair.”

“Wait, what?” Puck asks, shocked.

“Seriously?” Sam asks.

“I knew it,” Tina says, and she and Lauren high five.

“Really?” Mike asks, speaking up for the first time.

“Yes, alright!” Blaine shouts, getting flustered and uncomfortable at the entire situation. “Yes! I am regularly fucked into the mattress by Kurt Hummel and I _love_ every minute of it. Are you happy now?”

There's a strangled noise at the doorway as Mr. Schue nearly chokes on the water he's drinking as he walks into the room. He drops his briefcase and his papers spill all over the floor. He stands there, open-mouthed, gaping at his students.

“Oh, um, nevermind,” Blaine says, turning bright red, and one again trying to bury his face in Kurt's shirt. Kurt strokes Blaine's hair comfortingly, but his frame is shaking slightly, since he can't stop laughing.

*end*


End file.
